Being in bad place mentally.

I wrote about loneliness abroad or about loneliness in general. I wrote about not worrying, “Que sera, sera”, but what if everything falls on our head like heavy raindrops and brings us down? What if you don’t see any solution?

In the past week or so I was in a bad place mentally. I was worrying about every single thing, expecting the worst from everything and everyone (literally every time I was at work I was thinking that they might fire me, although I was working good). And of course, I was thinking that I don’t deserve all those good things that are happening to me. Low self-esteem at its peak.

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When it’s one day like that, you think: “Okay, I have a bad day. Tomorrow is a new day, it shall be better”. But then it carries on and on throughout the whole week and you add new worries to your, already extended, worrying “schedule”: “This is something that needs to be fixed”.

How to fix something like that? Usually, the best thing is to find the reason why it is happening. Within me, I have no idea, it happened suddenly. I mean I had a lot of stress with moving out (my owner keep changing the time and date etc) and things like that. It could be stress, I guess I won’t be able to find it out now. Anyway, how did I cope with it? Simpliest as it can be, with one song. This one particular song that I have forgotten about for quite a couple of months. The song that was able to keep me through times of breakups and other hard times. “Came a long way”. Every one of us came a long way and there’s no reason to keep looking behind.

Sometimes a silence seems so loud to me
And I’m thinking out loud and I’m trying to keep
Too much reflection isn’t healthy for me
Present and future is where I need to be

But I’m stalling this story
I’m gonna fill it with glory
‘Cause there’s no place to go but up
And I’m changing my outlook
‘Cause looking inwards
Isn’t always a good place to go

And I hold my head now
With a tear in my eye
‘Cause I don’t really care no more
Always so little things
That eat at your soul
And I’m not gonna worry about them no more

There’s nothing that hits me harder than this one. Some people talk with friends, family, do this, do that. I need to play this song to regroup myself. To put myself mentally in a place that I need to be in. And then I go for a long walk or run and everything’s better. Most of the times.

I wish I had a solution like that for everyone, but you need to find your own or you can use mine. Everyone’s different.

In the past I’ve always had trouble on my mind
I’m gonna take that feelin’ and leave it far behind
And as I go a’down this path travelin’ through my fate
Lately I have begun to awake

To anyone shocked by this post: this is my personal blog so, from time to time, I might or might not write personal stuff. This one hits my “neighborhood” quite close as you may assume, so please treat it with respect. Hope you enjoyed this post and have a nice week everyone!

Author: againorway

student, Norway-lover, artist, dreamer, book worm

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