I didn’t do any “deep” post in a while, and that’s because I have been quite under the weather for most of the time. However, this is a very important topic that I need to write about.
Insecurities are not only about the look, I mean that type when you look in the mirror and you feel ugly and unwanted. No, there could be low self-esteem when it comes to work, health, relationships, friendships, etc. The most important thing is, however, that it’s all in the head. While reading what I’m about to write, don’t be mistaken. I won’t give any golden clue as to how to cure insecurities or low self-esteem. More like, I will give a perspective on it and let other people feel less alone on this topic.
If some people can hike Kilimanjaro or Mount Everest without arms or sight, why then would it be so hard to change the way you think about yourself? Why it’s easier to run a marathon than to stop thinking about failures from the past?
It’s not that you’re weak. You have enough strength within yourself that you still try and wake up every day, brush your teeth and bravely go into the workplace.
You tell that to yourself while still fighting inside with a thought of giving up. Because it will all fail in the end like always, won’t it? You try, get it, but then you lose it again. You’re stuck in the past of failures, and that’s one of the reasons you might have insecurity.
Not every insecurity is the same as I mentioned before, so if you feel otherwise, don’t be offended. Having low esteem is an extremely hard thing to change, but knowing the reason is the key.
For example: let’s say that your boss one day tells you that you need to write more papers per day because the others or people who worked there previously do much better than you. You can’t be sure if it’s a truth, but you still let yourself feel down and you immediately compare yourself. You might even feel worthless when you come home and the next day at the job you have even less motivation to do anything.
The key is to take those things as a criticism of an act, not of the whole person. That can mean also that if you do some failure, it’s because you aren’t grown emotionally enough or you need to study more mathematics (random example). It doesn’t mean that you completely trash and the best for you would be just to quit it all. You can, for example, take your mistakes on the table and attach them to specific failures like I failed exam not because I’m stupid, but because I’m bad at organizing myself or I lost my job due to my bad driving skills not because I’m not good enough to work.
You can create those for yourself, just take piece of paper and pen. You thinking about your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend? If you feel like it was your fault, then change your way of remembering it into She left me because I’m bad at focusing on one person. It’s not because I’m a bad person, it’s because I wasn’t emotionally grown enough for that relationship at that time.
And remember: you have to change it. Those insecurities can easily crash your life into pieces if you let them guide your everyday. You’re way better than those “voices” in your head and if you’re brave enough to face a new day every day, then you are brave enough to face yourself.
That’s it for me now. Thank you so much for reading and see you on Wednesday.